SRWCFL Round 2

Round 2 has been and gone,  setting the Squirrel Rugby World Cup Fantasy League up for two races. One for the top, the other for the bottom, and let me tell you there's some stiff competition. "Snadbul's Titillating Titans" are yet again the foundation of the now towering Squirrel League. Having already transferred out 15 players who contributed the titanic sum of 21 points, Abdul Gomaa, when pressed on the performance of his somewhat bench-heavy squad, stated "ahhh-what? 70 points? WTF! But I couldn't change my kicker! Ah-f*$k-it! Guess I'll just look at who mikey's got". Gomaa, then proceeded to cut the the press conference off early. Walking away, cameras caught the infamously unorthodox coach flipping the bird at reporters. Unconfirmed reports suggested the coach cried later that evening.


Other notable players in the race for last place, include "Barry's Bastards". The premiss being that rugby players who are born out of wedlock, perform significantly worse under pressure than their happily-parented counterparts is obviously a sound one as the Bastards are right up the Titan's metaphorical arse in 2nd last. William Gallagher's unnamed team continue to plummet straight towards the coveted last spot along with the "Sam's Pine Riders" and the "Goose's Golden Eggs".

"Dans Dragons" are showing promise, currently in 4th. The former Squirrel centre released his Autobiography two weeks ago and in an exclusive interview with The Nut, revealed his childhood dream of becoming a wedding singer. Whilst in the chair Evans stated, "Yeah I love signing, I sing all the greats! I sing'em all! I even sing to the team in the warm-up; The Power of Love, How Deep Is Your Love, Love Me Tender, you name it, I sing it! Shall I sing one for you now? I'm good honest, listen...Love me tender, love me sweet...". After serenading the studio with hits from Sinead O'Connor, The Bee Gees and Shania Twain, Evan's agent suddenly pulled the Dragons' coach aside for a private chat. The short discussion ended with Evans' clasping his face, and muttering "Bloody hell. Not again!" He then swiftly left the studio, oddly, hugging the walls as he left. His agent later released a statement indicating that Mr Evans did not piss his pants.

Finally, seeing as nothing of any interest occurred at the top of the league standings, nothing at all...SERIOUSLY, NOTHING AT ALL OK! Squirrel RWCFL presents it's feature segment. Undercover Nut. Our resident flapping investigative journalist, The Higg, has been hard at work. Whilst flapping out of Plymouth, The Higg managed to swoop in and snap pictures of a former Squirrel pretty boy with their new partner! Awww. Very sweet. Best wishes to the happy couple and thanks to the Higg for his sterling investigative work.

On a side note, don't forget training tomorrow 15:00-17:00. Last week was good session, make sure you bring down some more new faces! Squirrel RWCFL will return next week for a summation of Round 3.